mom bullies

When I was in high school I was always the quiet, friendly type. I kept to myself and just focused on getting my schoolwork done. I had only a handful of friends who I was fiercely loyal to, and many acquaintances as well. I honestly can't tell you one single person who disliked me with the exception of my boyfriend's ex girlfriend in tenth grade. I am just not a shit starter, and I tend to be a curious observer only of the drama around me.

I'm 25 now. The amount of drama and mom bullying, as I am going to call it, is downright ridiculous. Did you know that it's totes cool to make small talk with another mom, look her right in the eye and smile, talk to her children warmly, then because of whatever reason, turn around and block her on Facebook? Yeah.

Facebook and many internet forums have made bored, listless stay at home moms into mom bullies. They form tight knit cliques and super secret groups. The greatest thing about this high school behavior is that you can be a coward and hide behind your computer instead of being an adult and hashing out your problems with someone you take issue with.

I made the mistake of joining such a clique a couple of years ago. You know, it's great when you're one of them and accepted. I felt like I had a group of acquaintances, maybe a friend or two. This is huge news when you are a mom, especially a young mom like me who lost all of her friends when I embarked on the journey of motherhood. My journey from very woo-ey agnostic to highly skeptical atheist left my entire world shattered. I could no longer participate in this group as my new knowledge just didn't jive at all with their beliefs and practices. I'm not the kind of person who can bite her tongue. So out I went.

But you know, there's something disheartening about keeping quiet. I still did some of the same things they did, but suddenly I wasn't a cool kid. Leaving was the right thing, but I felt alone in my slightly crunchy ways. I think especially as moms, we need that bond with other moms. We need to know we aren't alone at the end of the day. So I tried to be a part of this group and take what info I could relate to but also tackle misinformation. What a mistake that was. I'm immediately questioned as to why I bothered to return. How hurtful is that, to basically say, "and why are you here?" to someone you once pretended to care about. And instead of hashing out these differences we form secretive groups and talk behind each others backs. I can't message someone on Facebook to say, hey, let's fix this. No, because I'm now blocked from all communication with them. I can't show up to events anymore because I'm not "one of them".

The amount of mom bullying is ridiculous, and has got to stop. I'm sure you heard about the teenager recently who killed herself because of online bullies. Is this really the message we want to send to our kids? That online bullying is honorable?  I'm one of the easiest people to talk to. You meet me in person, my friendliness is real. I'm not good at acting. If you have something to say, come say it to my face. Write me a comment, send me a message. What is wrong with doing this? What have I done that is really so offensive that you must block me from ever communicating with you? It is hurtful and petty. We have to grow up eventually, ladies.